Crash and Burn and Break
by Forever Written in the Stars
Summary: He watches her twist and turn in the air before landing softly on her feet without a wobble, and he thinks that this sort of talent and beauty shouldn't be wasted on darkened gyms after hours. She would've set the world on fire.


After London, after the Olympics, he watches the sun fall behind the mountains from the front steps of the Rock, and as he crushes an empty beer can in his fist, he thinks that this, whatever the hell he's doing, is more than a little pathetic. Just days after winning his second, all-around Olympic title when he should be celebrating, he sits on the steps of a darkened and empty gym alone drinking cheap beer, but he can't find it in him to celebrate and party like he did the last time around.

This time around, there are no clubs filled with flashing lights and pounding music and more alcohol than any one person should consume. There isn't a string of pretty girls, a new one every night. Instead, he runs, runs from all the adoring fans and heads to Colorado, the only place that has ever felt like home since he left Texas and a family and a life, and after London and all the chaos that went with the Olympics, he revels in the peace of Boulder.

He throws the crushed beer can, and the crushed metal remnants bounce off a familiar sleek, silver convertible parked in the Tanners' parking spot, and for a moment (a fleeting one), he feels his chest clench.

Kaylie came to him one night in tears and told him about Lauren. She told him Lauren had an irregular heartbeat, that she needed surgery, that she couldn't compete or she would_ die_. And he remembers a desperate confession he never should have heard but did from the other side of a door and wonders if maybe, Lauren Tanner's heart _broke_.

He thinks that _all_ of them have changed, him, Kaylie, Payson, Lauren, and he remembers simplicity.

He knew what he wanted then, back in Rio and even before that; he knew he wanted Kaylie Cruz, but now, now after two Olympics, after spending years pushing himself to his limits, he's not sure what the hell he wants. It's funny, how you can spend years pursuing some goal and then not what to do with yourself when you have what you wanted. He figures he could return for the next Olympic cycle. He hasn't peaked yet, and male gymnasts can continue to perform well into their twenties, but if he knows one thing, he knows he doesn't want to go that route again. He wants to walk away but doesn't know where to head.

He cranes his head backward to look at the front of the Rock and stare at the banners hanging above the doorway. There's his banner, the one that's been there since he arrived, and then Kaylie's, the one that's been there since before his arrival. There's the one from the World's Championships, and he knows that in the coming days, the Olympic banners will emerge. He wonders if he'll stick around Boulder long enough to see the banners.

He pushes himself up to his feet and pulls his keys out of his pocket. The first one he finds is the one he knows opens the glass doors into the Rock. He has a key, because as it turns out, when you're an Olympic medalist, it's fairly easy to get one. He runs a finger down the jagged teeth before slipping the key into the lock. It fits in smoothly.

When he walks in, he finds it's not as dark as he thought it would be. A couple of the dimmer lights are on, more specifically the ones that hang over the beam.

He watches her without saying anything. Her car sits just outside the doors, and he saw it, but his mind hadn't really managed to put two and two together. He should say something, shouldn't just sit here in the dark watching her like some sort of stalker, but something inside him compels him to stay silent.

He just watches, watches the clean, precise movements and even cleaner, more precise lines, and his sense of awe tells him that she could've _won_ and that it's been a long time since he's seen Lauren Tanner up on beam. He watches her twist and turn in the air before landing softly on her feet without a wobble, and he thinks that this sort of talent and beauty shouldn't be wasted on darkened gyms after hours. She would've set the world on fire, because this is perfect. It's only the basics _(nothing close to what she was once capable of_), and he doubts she's really supposed to be doing any sort of gymnastics after her surgery, but it's _flawless_.

Time fades and so do his doubts as he watches her quiet confidence as she moves across the beam. She doesn't flinch, doesn't wobble. It's like she knows she won't fall, that she inexplicably trusts the four-inch beam to catch her and hold her without bending or breaking, and he notices that she's different, so different as she turns and flips and leaps, because he can remember the brash girl who threw death-defying tricks on beam without batting a heavily-mascaraed eyelash and sees a sense of caution he has never seen before. She doesn't hesitate (_she's Lauren Tanner_), but she seems more vulnerable (_something Lauren Tanner isn't_), and it's like she realizes that she's human, that she can_ crash_ and_ burn_ and _break_.

He walks across the mats toward the beam and finally speaks. "Should you really be doing that?"

Her eyes flash toward him and widen when she sees him. "Probably not. The doctors probably won't be thrilled, and _God knows_ I don't need another set of lectures on how I shouldn't be so reckless and gamble on my life." She rolls her eyes.

"What is it with you Rock girls?" he asks, a light smile masking the gravity of his question, "Always risking their lives."

And when a glare settles across her features, he knows he hasn't succeeded in masking how serious he is.

"I don't need to hear it from you. I've already heard it from Payson, my father, the doctors," and then her voice rises in pitch as she mimics them, "How could you be so irresponsible? How could you put yourself at risk like this? You could have died..."

"You could've you know," he says as her voice tapers off.

"Did you ever think that maybe, I wanted London and the Olympics and a medal_ more_?" she asks rhetorically.

"You do realize it is just a sport?" and as soon as the words roll off his tongue, he knows it's a lie. It's not just a sport. It's more. _So much more_.

"It's all I have, all that I've ever had."

And he remembers what he so often forgets, that Lauren Tanner is really just a girl who's watches most of what she loves slip away from her. They fade into silence and he just watches. She knows she can crash and burn and break, but he doesn't think she will.

_She's Lauren Tanner._


End file.
